The partners at Finley & Figg—all two of them—often refer to
themselves as “a boutique law firm.” Boutique, as in chic, selective,
and prosperous. They are, of course, none of these things. What they are
is a two-bit operation always in search of their big break, ambulance
chasers who’ve been in the trenches much too long making way too
little. Their specialties, so to speak, are quickie divorces and DUIs,
with the occasional jackpot of an actual car wreck thrown in. After
twenty plus years together, Oscar Finley and Wally Figg bicker like an
old married couple but somehow continue to scratch out a half-decent
living from their seedy bungalow offices in southwest Chicago.
And then change comes their way. More accurately, it stumbles in.
David Zinc, a young but already burned-out attorney, walks away from
his fast-track career at a fancy downtown firm, goes on a serious
bender, and finds himself literally at the doorstep of our boutique
firm. Once David sobers up and comes to grips with the fact that he’s
suddenly unemployed, any job—even one with Finley & Figg—looks
okay to him.
With their new associate on board, F&F is ready to tackle a
really big case, a case that could make the partners rich without
requiring them to actually practice much law. An extremely popular
drug, Krayoxx, the number one cholesterol reducer for the dangerously
overweight, produced by Varrick Labs, a giant pharmaceutical company
with annual sales of $25 billion, has recently come under fire after
several patients taking it have suffered heart attacks. Wally smells
money.
A little online research confirms Wally’s suspicions—a huge
plaintiffs’ firm in Florida is putting together a class action suit
against Varrick. All Finley & Figg has to do is find a handful of
people who have had heart attacks while taking Krayoxx, convince them
to become clients, join the class action, and ride along to fame and
fortune. With any luck, they won’t even have to enter a courtroom!
It almost seems too good to be true.
And it is.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
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