Quotes from "Living Well Emotionally" by Montel Williams

"Suddenly, in 2008, the idea of electing a young black man as president of the United States became a flesh-and-blood reality. It is an idea so revolutionary to America and the world that we haven't absorbed it yet. It is huge. It is spectacular. It is history-changing and it is psyche-changing. I think it will transform our national emotional well-being in ways we don't yet understand." (page 40)

"Aren't personal crises, loss, sadness, and periods of emotional darkness just part of human nature? Absolutely! They can help us grow, and become stronger, and change ourselves for the better. (...) Critical thinking, fear, and skepticism can all be healthy and normal, and critical to our survival in the face of danger and uncertainty." (pages 42-43)

"Negative experiences can lead to change, and therefore eventually to happiness. As a Chinese proverb explains, "Without scaling mountains no one can know the height of heaven; without descending valleys, no one can know the depth of earth." A the Dalai Lama put it, "The person who has had more experience of hardships can stand more firmly in the face of problems than the person who has never experienced suffering." (page 43)

"The times when you have great turmoil in your life can turn out to be exactly the moments that trigger positive turning points and open you up to new horizons of potential." (Page 44)

“Happiness is actually part of the often-hard work of life, and it involves integrating periods of sadness into our lives. When you think about it, without sadness the idea of happiness has little meaning.” (page 44)

“You alone are the person who owns the definition of who you are.” (page 57)

“Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t be. If you think it, believe it, and live it, I guarantee that you’ll start down a path to transform your life and live better every single day.
This is especially true when it comes to your happiness and your emotional life.
Don’t let anybody tell you how you should feel and what your emotions should be. You have the right to be as happy or as sad as you want to be, and you alone have the responsibility, and the power, to create your own happiness, nobody else.” (page 57)

(quoting Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius) “The whole universe is change and life itself is but what you deem it.” (page 59)

“It’s important to understand that happiness is something you do, not something you find.” (page 59)

“In Julius Caesar William Shakespeare wrote, “There is a tide in the affairs of men, / Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; / Omitted, all the voyage of their life / Is bound in shallows and in miseries.” I believe that tide occurs every morning when you wake up and look at yourself in the mirror, and every hour, every second of your life. Every moment is a new opportunity to create happiness for yourself.” (page 59)

(quoting Dr. Richard Rosenthal) If you summon the courage to really look at yourself, the payoff is better awareness of yourself and a more truthful and more honest capacity to see who you really are in the real world.” (page 77-78)

"I believe that people have a right to feel sad and even a right to be depressed on occasion. We should absorb it as a part of who we are. But it doesn't have to define who we are, and we shouldn't suffer needlessly." (page 79-80)

(quoting Stanford University psychologist Albert Bandura) "People need to learn how to manage failure so it's informational and not demoralizing." (page 89)

(quoting Professor Christopher Peterson) "There are five strengths in particular that are big predictors of how happy or satisfied somebody is. If you do any of those things well, then you should do more of them. The five strengths are:
*optimism
*curiosity
*gratitude
*zest/enthusiasm
*love and strong relationships with family, friends, and colleagues." (page 94-95)



(quoting Professor Christopher Peterson) "Another thing that's affected my own life as a result of our research is I now try to much kinder to other people by being curious about their well-being. I take the time to ask how they're doing, to actually mean it, and really listen to what they say. It's not just for the sake of the other person, it's also for my own sake. It absolutely makes me feel better. I am happier in that moment and over the long term as I do it over and over." (page 95)

"Top 3 proven happiness-building strategies
*being grateful
*doing acts of kindness
*learning to savor things" (page 95)

(quoting Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi) "Relationships are highly creative: you have to make them grow, just like a story." (page 105)

"I have great respect for people who find organized religion to be a meaningful, rewarding, and glorious part of their lives. It can be one of the ultimate powerful forces for good in this world." (page 145)

"I've never read anything in any religious text that says we need a go-between between God and us, a layer of people to interpret the message or take our money.
So I don't get up every Sunday morning and go to church." (page 146)

"Many kids have no opportunity to reflect on anything but the here and now, and we should help them take time every day to think about something larger than themselves." (page 148)

"The key to achieving happiness for yourself is to achieve it for others." (page 152)

"You and I deserve a life of love and joy, a life in which we grow, prosper, and thrive emotionally, spiritually, and physically, in which happiness is a constant companion, not an impossible dream.
There is a doorway to happiness that is available to us any day, anywhere, anytime." (page 162)